I didn't shave. On purpose
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
