Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
