Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
