dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
