What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
