i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
