I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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