dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
