Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
