I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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