Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My cat gives me a boner
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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