I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
