I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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