do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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