Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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