her facebook's as public as her vagina
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
