Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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