You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
