i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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