We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
