I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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