..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
