is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
