Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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