Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
