i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
