I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
