I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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