fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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