i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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