i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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