Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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