just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
