who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She announced her abortion via fbk
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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