..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
