its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
