just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
50% drunk capacity currently
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
