i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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