He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
