I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she pinky promised me she was 18
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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