i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
This house was built for laser tag.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just blew my weed a kiss
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
