It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
