Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
