So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
