for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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