Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
