Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
