she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
this will be a night to untag.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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