Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
