She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
