I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
