is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
